June 28, 2024
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Photography by Amor Burakova/Stocksy United
Nurture your self-esteem when the summer sun comes out and the stares arrive.
Wrestling with the unpredictable physical changes that can come with psoriatic arthritis and psoriasis wreaks havoc on self-esteem, especially with the summer sun peeking over the horizon.
As the heat invites us to strip back the layers and the sun meets our exposed skin, old fears of self-consciousness may resurface, affecting how we feel about ourselves.
Salvaging our self-esteem from the wreckage of today’s beauty standards, which often place clear skin as the pinnacle of beauty, can take some concerted effort. But with the right tools in your arsenal, you can embrace confidence in your authentic self, even during a flare.
“As someone who lives with psoriasis and has lots of abdominal scars and body changes from six surgeries, I know the impact of scarring and skin conditions on body confidence, on body image, and self-esteem,” said UK-based well-being coach Emily Forbes. “Summer can exacerbate feelings of unworthiness, or ‘not-enough-ness.’ These emotions often come along with scarring or skin conditions when showing skin with warmer weather, holidays, or swimwear.”
The effects on self-esteem can be especially acute when flare-ups start in childhood, just as we start forming our identities.
“I developed psoriasis as a pre-teen, having just changed schools, so it impacted my confidence quite drastically,” said Molly Mace, a PR account executive from the UK. “I still feel like it sometimes affects the way people perceive me and develop an idea of who I am, but I know that if that’s the case, it’s not because of me but rather their assumptions.”
While Mace’s confidence has flourished in her adulthood, she still struggles with the visible signs, often hyperaware of potential incoming insensitive comments.
“I still feel embarrassed when I leave an Uber, and there’s skin on the seats or in any shared space,” she said. “I may be confident enough in my body to still love the way my skin looks, but I’m also aware that not everyone is as accepting of others when it comes to skin conditions.”
When summer comes rolling around, it’s understandable to fear the potential gazes coming your way.
However, spending time in the sun can help reduce flare-ups, for both aching psoriatic arthritic joints and psoriasis lesions. When low-confidence-fueled doubts creep in, divert your focus away from the mental frustration. Instead, invest your intention in using the summer season to take really good care of your skin.
“Sometimes, when I get stared at, I do just wish I had covered up, but I know that’s not who I am or even what’s best for my skin since the sun helps so much,” Mace agrees.
“For me, my skin gets super flakey due to sweat, so I make sure I always have moisturizer in my bag, ready for the day ahead,” said Mace. “I try to get out of the house as much as possible, make the most of the summer sun, and what it can do for my skin, so it’s also super important to keep SPF on hand.”
Above all, don’t be hard on yourself for the things you can’t control. It’s there; all you can do is take care of your body responsibly. Invest in health and self-care to spend more of your life thriving in the sun instead of hiding in the shade.
Dermatologists recommend wearing sunscreen of SPF 30 or higher to help protect your skin from the harmful effects of the sun’s UV rays, including skin cancer.
“The first step to changing self-critical thoughts is to begin to notice and challenge these kinds of thoughts,” said clinical psychologist Dr Charlotte Russell. “This is important because self-critical thoughts can masquerade as truths.”
When our mind lies to us with sly thoughts like, “My skin makes me ugly,” it’s crucial that we check them at the door and call them out for what they are: lies.
“When you have identified self-critical thoughts, it is time to come up with more helpful statements,” Russell adds. “In relation to your skin condition, this might be something like ‘My skin does not define me.’”
Try making a list of counter statements for all your classic thoughts, such as “My skin does not define me,” or “I am worthy.” Transfer the most impactful statements to post-it notes to keep around the house. You could even write some of them directly on your skin (with skin-safe pens, of course) as constant reminders.
“Remember that you are yourself first before you are your skin condition,” said Mace. “If you loved wearing shorts before you developed the condition, but now you’re too scared, try working to reclaim that version of yourself.”
“It doesn’t have to be in one big go, but small steps can help you gain that confidence back and feel like yourself again,” she adds.
There are countless tools at your disposal. Some things you can do to regain your self-esteem include a photo shoot to celebrate your uniqueness, repeating positive affirmations, refocusing your self-worth on mental attributes, and finding the art in scars and drawing them to find their beauty.
The best formula is different for everyone. Experiment and prioritize nurturing your soul. Your confidence won’t increase unassisted; you are your best cheerleader.
One of the most complex parts of living with any scarring condition can be the overwhelming fear of how others will perceive us and be affected by misinformation, something Mace still experiences.
“I still feel like it sometimes affects the way people perceive me and develop an idea of who I am, but I know that if that’s the case, it’s not because of me but rather their assumptions,” she said. “Summer is when I actually get the most comments.”
“It seems strange to me because it’s not something I would personally ever do, but too many people come up to me and ask me ‘what’s wrong’ with my skin when it’s summer,” she adds.
“My usual approach is just to educate the person,” said Mace. “Explain to them that no, it’s just a skin condition and it doesn’t hurt, and then try to reiterate that as nice as it is for them to show concern, it is none of their business at all.”
If you’d prefer not to discuss your condition after people’s invasive questions, you might want to prepare some easy statements like, “It’s a private issue” or “I am not comfortable speaking about this with a stranger.” Or you might prefer to meet questions with silence, a good old, hard stare, or simply change the subject.
“It doesn’t change who we are as people,” said Mace. “Yes, it’s itchy; yes, it means we have a few extra steps in our skin care or shower routine; yes, sometimes we might have days where we feel more insecure about our skin, but at our cores, we’re still just who we were before psoriasis.”
Medically reviewed on June 28, 2024
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